"Classics Jazz" is Judge Dredd

A robot in disguise INDEED:


...AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.

The Face of Knowing

That face.

That is the face one makes when they know what's going on. Apparently.

Scott Pilgrim Halloween Jack-o-Lantern

For those of you pumpkin carvers that double as Scott Pilgrim fans, here's a fun idea for you:

It's the sort of pumpkin that might make people not in the know bellow a hearty WTF, but if you get it, it's pretty damn great.

Internet Ads - Stealth Lulz

Anyone that pays attention to the tons of ads they encounter whilst browsing online knows it all too well - there is much hilarity to be found.

My latest finding:

The faces. The framing. Isn't the right side of this image cropped in just the right way to seem incredibly suggestive?

...yeesh

The Stupid Things We Say, Vol.1

We all say dumb things from time to time. My most recent offense happened just prior to the posting of this blog. Am I timely or what?

As I mentally reviewed the purchases of my latest grocery haul, I pondered whether or not I had any snack-like items to sate my fat-man's desires between meals. The light bulb was illuminated in an instant. Aha! Yes! How could I forget?

I thought to myself,"Well...I do have those gargoyles."

...

Gargoyles? Fucking GARGOYLES? What the fuck?

The word my puny brain was actually searching for - was granola bars. Such a simple mistake, right?

The sad thing is that this all took place...in my inner monologue. Screwing up words when speaking aloud is one thing, but in the cushy comfort of your computer? Dear sweet lemon drops, I've truly lost my shit.

Transformers RID Sky-Byte: Lover, Philanthropist, Movie Star

If/when Hollywood remakes Jaws, there's only one man for the job - Transformers: Robots in Disguise Sky-Byte, that's right!

And now, a Sky-Byte centric haiku:

To Sky-Byte, with love:
Can I have your autograph?
Please don't get it wet

DC Universe Classics Trigon

Just saw this picture over at Michael Crawford's Review of the Week - and it hit me. This is basically every power metal album cover ever created. Holy shit.

I'll never go hungry again...

Holy crackerjacks

And now, the news

Don't touch that dial!

Slayer: Metal Storm/Ride the Unicorn

My goofy album cover for World Painted Blood by thrash metal pioneers Slayer (FUCKING SLAAAAYYYYEEEEERRRRRR) has gotten a tiny bit of attention on the webs it seems. I actually saw the thing posted on Facebook. It's kind of trippy, man. I didn't think anyone out there ever found any of this bullshit.

On to the point, one person mentioned that the world needed to see Kerry King riding a unicorn. Fuckin' A right it does. And you know what?

The King always delivers:

SO METAL. Click the image above for a larger version if you so desire!

The Meaning of Life

Never forget.

I'm Pitching a New He-Man Cartoon!

Alright, He-Man has been off the air too long. Time to pitch a new series to Cartoon Network.

Gentlemen. Ladies. I give you...

Oh yes.

Mood of the Now - Implied Facepalm

The Tommy Lee Jones Implied Face Palm, from No Country for Old Men. That about says it.

Introducing: The Transformers Snuggie!

You know those ridiculous "Snuggies" - the blankets with sleeves, essentially just robes you wear backwards? Well, now there's a Transformers version sold at "For Your Entertainment" stores:

Oh GOODY. I better go camp outside my local F.Y.E. right now! I can't imagine a better possible way to spend 20 big ones!

Marketing gone awry I tell you.

Barbie's Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken

Yes, this is a real, official Barbie toy from Mattel. Yes, "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken" is his actual name. Have you ever seen a toy more utterly PIMP than this?!

Cool sophistication in breezy Palm Beach! Sporting a dashing jacquard-patterned jacket with a light pink polo shirt and crisp white pants, Ken doll is ready for Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool and a stroll with his little companion. Fashion designed exclusively for the Silkstone Barbie doll body. Includes Ken doll, jacket, pink polo shirt, white shoes, dog with leash, swim trunks and accessories, doll stand and certificate of authenticity. For the adult collector. Order yours today!

...I finally know what I want to be when I grow up!!!

Halloween Zombie Pumpkin Carving Patterns!

Ahoy there guys and ghouls! Over at Zombie Pumpkins.com you can find tons of cool pumpkin carving patterns from many movie favorites. From Ash, to Freddy, to Tallahassee from the new hit "zomedy" (ZOMBIE COMEDY) Zombieland, many a spooky base is covered. Go check 'em out for some great ideas to help you get into the Halloween spirit.

If you'd like to get into pumpkin carving yourself, the Brass and Walnut Pumpkin Carving Kit seen below is a 5-star product currently available for free shipping from Amazon! Check it out:

And you can shop for all of your other Halloween needs via Amazon as well!

Google homepage themes

Here's a little something some of you may have overlooked in your rush to get those Google searches as soon as possible. I certainly did. If you actually have a Google account you can attribute custom themes to your Google homepage. Hmm. I sense a shot game forthcoming. DRINK EVERY TIME I SAY "GOOGLE"

Google.

Anyway, you can check out the theme choices here:

HERE AS IN RIGHT HERE

Naturally, I geeked out and went with the Blackest Night theme:



What will YOU choose?

Soylent Green II

Soylent Green is still made out of people! They didn't change the recipe like they said they were going to! It's stiiiill peeeeeeople!!!!!

EXCLUSIVE Premiere - Cover art for Slayer's "World Painted Blood" album!

Well Slayer fans, the wait for their next studio album "World Painted Blood" is narrowing, and here we have the first ever look at the album's cover art:

I have to say...brooding, dark, mysterious. It's so very, very Slayer.

Update - Still need to pick this album up? Amazon has your back:

The Joy of Anime

Bob Ross was an exceptionally huge anime fan, you know. It's a little known fact that he actually designed the first Tachikoma for GiTS. It's amazing really.